MASQUITO! slaps and coffee frappes....

Yes friends, all in the course of 24 hours we had coffee frappes and Shandon got slapped by a tour guide... And when I say coffee frappes, I really mean lattes. But that doesn't rhyme, and we just can't have that. But I digress....

Today was yet another glorious day in the land of Siam (there's a fun fact for you, Thailand was Siam. That's all I know about that.) We had breakfast at our hotel for the last time (eggs all around), and promptly at 8:00, our taxi driver showed up to take us to the airport.

Here's the deal with Bangkok traffic. Vehicles do not yield to pedestrians, nor do pedestrians yield to vehicles... It is an impressive and beautiful dance they all seem to know the moves to in order to maneuver themselves. And by beautiful, I mean the most terrifying thing you've ever seen. It took over an hour to go the 14 kilometers to the airport (HEY! LOOK AT ME COMMUNICATING IN THE METRIC SYSTEM!) because of the crazy traffic. People go where they want, when they want. In the case of our cab driver, he likes to drive on the right side of the road. Which, coincidentally, is the wrong side of the road in this country. I tried to take a picture of the debacle, but it is not easy to take a picture while you are using both hands to dig into the car upholstery in terror. Darn near impossible, some might say.

Anyway, we made it to the airport and spent an hour or two shopping and enjoying our aforementioned Starbucks. Don't judge us for finding Starbucks in Thailand. Please and thank you. Our flight was a short one hour jaunt into northern Thailand... And then... A most glorious event. You know that little line on your bucket list that says, "Get off a plane and have a man holding up a sign with your name on it"? No? Just me? Well, it happened. See pic below because proof or it didn't happen.

Chiang Mai is beautiful! It is so green and lush and 100% different from Bangkok. It is much more mellow here and on our way to the hotel, everyone stayed on the proper side of the road, which was pretty tame, in our opinion. Upon arrival at Tamarind Village (we are 2 for 2 with good hotel picks), we had lunch and coconut water out of a coconut... Because coconut water in a glass is just ridiculous. As we were eating, Shandon said, and I quote, "I'm going to go see a man about a jalopy." That wasn't the actual quote, but a jalopy is what arrived at 2 p.m. To take us on an adventure. He took us to a waterfall hike (more like a waterfall trickle, but it still counts). As we were getting back in the jalopy, he screamed, "MAAAASQUITO!" And slapped Shandon's leg so hard she has a semi-permanent Thai high five on her leg. But she DOESN'T have west nile, thanks to him.

This man was quite the character. He made Tracy tell him English words for insects he found, and she had to write them for him so he could practice. In case you're curious, there is at least one tour guide in Chiang Mai that knows "millipede" and "inchworm". He also announced all nearby countries get typhoons. "Burma, Laos, Myanmar... NOT Chiang Mai." Because no self-respecting typhoon would dare show its face in glorious Chiang Mai! Also, I know you were thinking there was no way we would meet our temple quota the day of our flight, but rest easy, friend, rest easy. Our driver took us to not one, but two temples. Buddha quota met. Whew!

The second temple (Doi Something... pardon the lack of good travel details) was atop 379 steps. Not because we counted, but because the tour guide was insulted when we heard him incorrectly and thought he said 329. Any old temple can have 329 steps, after all. We got caught in a torrential downpour at the bottom of those 379 steps and high-tailed it out of there for the 45 minute car ride back to Tamarind Village.

All in all, Elephant Eve was fantastic!