Our tour guide for the day met us in the hotel lobby at 8:00. He introduced himself, I have no idea how to even phonetically spell his name, so I will call him Tom. Tom took us down a pathway along the Bangkok canal to our first taxi "station". A canal taxi! You hop down from the pavement into the boat, and hope desperately you don't fall in. Don't worry, we didn't. It was packed to the gills, though, but no pick pocketing paranoia could bring us down! You know what could bring us down, though? When the splash guards protecting us from the polluted water failed and we got sprayed in the face... That will do it! After two canal taxi transfers, Tom made the announcement that filled me with glee... We were going in a tuk-tuk!
Now, as any good Thai traveler knows, you don't ride in a tuk-tuk. It's a rule. Like white after Labor Day. You just don't. Travellers will get ripped off, etc., etc., etc. But with Tom at the helm... Whole different story. Anyway, we tuk-tukked our way all through this city and it was glorious.
SO MANY TEMPLES TODAY. So many. And by so many, I mean three. Shoes off, shoes back on. Long-sleeved shirts on, back to tank tops. Stand by this Buddha, look at that Buddha. We saw the Reclining Buddha (HUGE) and the Emerald Buddha (GREEN). I could even tell you how to tell the difference between a Thai Buddha and one from Burma or Myanmar... I would tell you, but I'm not getting the feeling you care. The temples were all very cool though, and the Grand Palace was particularly impressive.
One real taxi and then a boat ride later, we were in the Bang Luang district, where there was not a tourist to be seen. It was along the canal as well, and we got to have authentic noodle soup... And it went a little something like this:
Tom: You pick your noodle and your meat.
Tracy: I'll have fish.
Tom: There is no fish.
Tracy: Oh, okay.
Tom (to me): What would you like?
Me: I'll have chicken.
Tom: There is no chicken. Only pork and fish.
Tracy: ...
End scene, roll credits, no fish for you. The soup was SO good, though! In the million percent humidity, that says a lot. The place didn't even have a name, it's that popular. The next stop was a coffee shop along the canal where we "had a rest", as Tom put it. That equaled sitting at the water's edge, feeding the catfish with a bucket of fish food that cost sixty cents. After our rest we headed to an orchid farm via motorized canoe (just as exciting to embark as the water taxi, but there is only room for 6 people). We toured the Bang Noi canal and saw some serious Bangkokness (yeah, that's a word). Woman in canoe selling souvenirs? Check. Man in canoe with a bucket acting as ice cream man? Check. Water monitor? CHECK CHECK CHECK. We saw three of those bad boys and I spent the rest of the time mentally planning my escape from one if the canoe capsized.
We saw acres upon acres of orchids and it was lovely. Tom put two seeds in my hand and added water and the seeds popped and it scared the living daylights out of me then Shandon walked up and Tom attempted to do the same. She asked if they were going to pop in her hand and we couldn't believe she could possibly know that. "I'm a landscaper's daughter," she said as the seeds popped and she didn't even flinch. *insert mental image of wide-eyed emoji*. :)
Tom, our fearless leader, got us back to our hotel by 4 p.m... We found the hotel library, did some reading by the pool, another dinner of amazingness, and called it a day.
Next up... Chiang Mai and those elephants!
